When someone you love begins to change, the world can feel unsteady. Many families in Garner and across North Carolina come to me when they notice something small at first—a parent forgetting to pay the power bill, missing a doctor’s appointment, or seeming confused by simple instructions. These moments are frightening because they force a hard question: Can my loved one still make safe decisions on their own?

Most people assume their will controls everything after they pass away. But in North Carolina, that simply isn’t true. Life insurance policies, retirement accounts, annuities, and payable-on-death bank accounts bypass the will entirely. They go directly to the beneficiaries listed on the forms, even if those names were written decades ago.

Most people breathe a sigh of relief the day they finally sign their Last Will and Testament. It feels like checking off a major life task: I’m being responsible. My family is protected. Everything will be taken care of.

But what many North Carolina families don’t realize is that a will does not always keep their loved ones out of probate. In fact, it often guarantees the probate process.

And often, families don’t learn this until they are already grieving and overwhelmed.

Every year, a few clients tell me the same thing: “We knew we needed to talk about Mom’s care… but we didn’t want to spoil the holiday.” Yet when something happened: a fall, a hospitalization, a sudden memory decline; they wished they had started those conversations earlier.

For most North Carolina families, the home isn’t simply where they live. Tt’s where life happened. It’s where children took their first steps, where holidays were celebrated, and where love and laughter filled the rooms. But for many older adults, the dream of passing that home on to the next generation can feel uncertain when the realities of aging, and the high cost of long-term care, come into view.

The question that keeps many awake at night is simple, yet heartbreaking: Could the nursing home take my house?

It’s a situation that happens more often than you might think. A loved one passes away, and the family assumes their bank accounts will automatically transfer to the surviving spouse or children. After all, that’s what Mom or Dad always said: “Everything will go to you when I’m gone.”

But when they arrive at the local First Citizens Bank in Garner or a PNC branch in Raleigh, they’re told something unexpected: the account is frozen. The funds can’t be accessed until the estate goes through probate. Bills are due, funeral costs are mounting, and emotions are high. The family thought everything was “taken care of,” but one missing detail, the lack of a Payable-on-Death (POD) designation, changes everything.

If you’ve ever told yourself, “I really need to get around to doing my will,” you’re not alone. Families across Garner, Cary, and the greater Raleigh area have the best of intentions when it comes to protecting what they’ve worked hard for. But too often, life gets busy, and estate planning falls to the bottom of the list. Then, when something unexpected happens, loved ones are left sorting through confusion, court filings, and costly mistakes that could have been prevented.

If someone you love needs long-term care, it can feel scary and confusing. Rules change. Costs rise. Families worry about losing a home or savings. The good news? With the right plan, you can protect what you’ve built and still get the care you need. This post explains what changed in 2025, what it means in North Carolina, and how you can be the hero of your family’s story by working with an elder law attorney.

Most families don’t think about probate until it’s too late. They assume things will “just work out” when the time comes. But I’ve seen firsthand how waiting can lead to heartache, conflict, and long delays in court. As a North Carolina estate planning attorney, I meet families every week who tell me the same thing: “We wish we had done this sooner.”

Imagine if you were in an accident today and couldn’t speak for yourself. Who would talk to the doctors for you? Who would pay your mortgage, handle your bank account, or make sure your bills were covered while you were in the hospital? Without a Healthcare Proxy and a Durable Power of Attorney, your family could be left waiting, arguing, or even going to court before anything gets done. These two documents make sure the right people can step in right away, protecting your health, your money, and your loved ones.

In today’s world, much of our lives are lived online. From photo albums stored in the cloud to banking apps on our phones, digital assets have become just as important as the physical ones we keep in a safe or filing cabinet. Yet when it comes to elder law and estate planning, many families overlook this crucial piece of the puzzle. Without proper planning, access to a loved one’s digital life can become complicated, stressful, and, in some cases, impossible.

When families in North Carolina lose a loved one, the last thing they want is to be tangled in legal red tape. Yet, when real estate isn’t placed in a trust or covered by a Transfer on Death (TOD) deed, that’s exactly what happens. The property is forced through probate court. Probate delays inheritance, creates added costs, and places extra stress on grieving families. The good news? With the right planning, you can keep your family home out of probate and make sure it passes smoothly to the people you love most.

Every once in a while, tax law changes hit the headlines in a way that forces families to sit up and ask: “Does this affect me?”

For North Carolina families, the One Big Beautiful Bill (OBBB), passed in 2025, is exactly that kind of change. Beginning January 1, 2026, the federal estate and gift tax exemption increases to $15 million per person ($30 million for married couples). And, it’s set to remain that high, indexed for inflation going forward.

That’s good news. But it’s not the whole story. Bigger exemptions don’t mean estate planning goes away. They mean you have new choices. And, if you don’t make them, the law (and the probate court) will make them for you.

It often happens in the blink of an eye. One moment, life feels normal. Then a fall, a stroke, or a sudden illness sends a loved one to the hospital. The doctors recommend skilled nursing care. The family scrambles to find a facility with an open bed. But when the admissions team asks for paperwork, the family stares back in confusion. They don’t have it. The documents the nursing home requires, the ones that give legal authority to make decisions, are missing. Suddenly, an already overwhelming situation turns into a crisis.

Waiting until retirement to create an estate plan is one of the biggest mistakes Gen X can make. Life has a way of throwing curveballs, and without a plan, your loved ones may be left navigating unnecessary expenses, probate delays, and even family conflict. Estate planning isn’t just about what happens after you’re gone. It’s about protecting your family, your assets, and your future right now.

Life has a way of surprising us. One moment, our parents are independent and making their own decisions. The next moment, a stroke, accident, or diagnosis can change everything. Suddenly, bills need to be paid, doctors need instructions, and decisions about care cannot wait. But what happens if your parents cannot make decisions anymore and there is no plan in place?

We spend our lives working hard to build financial security for our families. We save for retirement, pay off the mortgage, and set aside money for the future. Yet too many North Carolinians overlook one critical piece of the puzzle: planning for incapacity. What happens if illness, injury, or dementia leaves you unable to manage your own affairs? Without the right legal protections in place, your family could face frozen accounts, expensive court battles, and the loss of hundreds of thousands, or even a million dollars, of your hard-earned wealth.

Gifting assets to family members can feel like a heartfelt gesture. Gifting is a way to help your children buy a home, fund a grandchild’s education, or ensure your legacy stays in the family. But in North Carolina, what may seem like a generous, common-sense move can have surprising tax consequences, jeopardize long-term care eligibility, and even spark family disputes. Before you transfer that deed or write that big check, it’s important to understand the legal, financial, and emotional ripple effects of your decision.

We live in a digital age where our most treasured memories, conversations, and even our personal history often exist entirely online. Photos of family gatherings, years of heartfelt emails, personal notes saved in the cloud, these aren’t just files. They’re pieces of your story. But here’s the question most people never ask: What happens to your online life when you’re gone?

As our loved ones age, many of us find ourselves stepping into new roles: caregiver, advocate, or financial overseer. But what happens when someone we trust with a parent’s care or money turns out to be taking advantage of them? Financial elder abuse is one of the most underreported yet financially devastating forms of elder mistreatment. It often begins quietly, with a few questionable transactions or unexplained expenses and before long, a lifetime of savings can disappear.